Sayings for the Modern woman to live by:

1. I'm busy. You're ugly. Have a nice day.
2. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
3. Remember my name - you'll be screaming it later.
4. Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.
5. Why do people with closed minds always open their mouths?
6. I'm multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
7. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
8. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP!
9. Don't piss me off! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
10. Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares?
11. I don't believe in miracles. I rely on them.
12. Next mood swing...6 minutes.
13. I hate everybody and you're next
14. Please don't make me kill you.
15. And your point is...?
16. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
17. All stressed out and no one to choke.
18. How can I miss you if you won't go away?
19. Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.